Sunday, January 24, 2010

my heart aches - i do not understand

a few days ago Aimee Powell was taken from all who loved her. as i sit here searching for words and understanding the tears flow unrestrained. MY HEART IS BROKEN !!!!!!!! WHY LORD WHY ?????? i can not understand ???? why have you allowed this? sleepless nights are the norm for me since i learned of Aimee's death. if the pain of my heart is so great, how much GREATER is the pain of her mom and dad and all those who were far closer to Aimee than i? how great is the pain that my own Christina feels at this moment? I CAN'T STOP THE PAIN for her !!! i can't stop my own pain !!! recently my daily bible reading has been in the book of Job. how did Job make it through all the pain and heart ache that he experienced? I HAVE NO IDEA !!!!! THIS I DO KNOW .... THAT THE GOD WHO LOVED US ENOUGH TO SEND HIS OWN SON TO THE CROSS FOR US, KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING. did God's heart break as the life left his own son? does he know all the pain that has come since Aimee left us? YES HE DOES! this i must believe! there is no option! Lord in the coming days grant us all rest and comfort as we remember Aimee. we will never understand .... but we continue to trust in the One who can be trusted.


Kristyn Knits said...

my heart breaks for all those close to aimee. what a wonderful sweet, sweet lady. now we can pray for healing and look forward to the day when we see her again!

mark said...

what a great honest expression of exactly what is on your heart. reminds me a lot of the example Job set for all of us, as he navigated through deep tragedy and suffering in his own life and family. i guess the thing i thought about as i read your words, was that God does truly understand the kind of loss and separation that you, aunt karen, christy, aimee's parents and siblings, her students, her fellow teachers, her friends and her church family are feeling. for the first time in all of time, and what existed before it, for a few hours on a friday afternoon, there was a break in the Trinity. it was not the suffering that caused Jesus to cry out. it was not the suffering that caused God to grieve, as only He can. it was the separation. it was the break in fellowship. it was Christ experiencing the gap that exists between all of us and God, and the thought of it, that cause him to cry out. i can always be assured that in every way Jesus was acquainted with the grief that i experience. God was separated from his Son. Jesus was separated from his Father. and just as you said so well, we can trust Him. aimee has done amazing things for the cause of her Savior in her death. we hurt, but we trust. and we celebrate the beauty and significance of a life lived here, and her ultimate gain there. i pray for rest and comfort for you, and for all those who loved her. and for continued healing of the wound that even now, seems so open and exposed.